Monday, July 14, 2014

Ishmael Will Still Wear the Pants

"Walter?  Who is he?  Oh.  These are his 3-month shorts?  Then, how do I fit them?  I am 7 years old, and I weigh 9.2 lbs.  How much is Walter going to weigh?  Oh.  We will wear the same size?  At least I have a new bassinet out of this whole thing.  Oh.  Walter's bassinet.  Well, I still wear the pants in this family."

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Protect This Mouse

In spite his dutifully good manners and slight sashay, Ishmael knows how to be a feral beast.  

Sometimes it is him swiping a neatly tied beef tenderloin ($57) off the counter and then letting the blood drip down his chin as he swings it from side to side. 
(I washed the piece he didn't eat and retied it, thank you very much.)

But, more often, he runs around proudly with a piece of "can I have a little to-go bag for my cat?" tuna sashimi hanging out of his mouth or an Ishmael-size portion of the center of Mommy's ribeye.

Twice, however, he's had the joy of hunting and killing a mouse and then playing "keep my [prize] away from Mommy."  

This includes:
1.  Hiding the mouse under the ottoman and then sauntering casually away as if nothing's happened.  
2.  Maniacally throwing the mouse into the air and then swinging his arm like a bat about 5 times in a row.  
3.  Attacking Mommy like a wildebeest with no recognition of the parental-cat bond in hopes of keeping the [prize] for a little bit longer.

Wait, what?  There is a mouse by my bottom?  

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Pepper Steak

Last night Daddy called me his little pepper steak.
Then, I had a little lick from his toothbrush.

Too far, Ishmael, too far.

Monday, April 28, 2014

A Reunion

Ishmael missed Daddy so much while Daddy was on his business trip.
Now, let's get back to our business, he says.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Batty for Electronics

Ishmael loves his new paperwhite.

In fact, it's Daddy's paperwhite.

Mommy must have taught Ishmael about sharing.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Chore Day Tuesday

Tuesdays get to be too much for Ishamel.

It's chore day, 
and his responsibilities range from 
composing and performing six sad songs, 
to nibbling the orchid buds,
to taste-testing the butter.

Later, he'll trade one of the sad songs for a damp washcloth and a blowout.

Friday, March 28, 2014

Ode, based on prose by Rudyard Kipling

by Daddy

Forth Ishmael come 
like a peacock - 
stomacher and all.

Friday, March 21, 2014

A Rare Compliment

Daddy told Mommy that I was the equivalent of roughly 4 to 6 cats.  
"That's right, old man," I said.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Light Reading

Since finding out about the arrival of his human baby brother in 20 weeks, Ishmael has taken up a new hobby.  

This was his first selection.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Mom's Hero

Mom's Hero, a.k.a. King of the Castle, Lord of the Tail, Got Ruff?
That's right.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Guest Blogger: Puzzle Machine

I do my puzzle.
I lay in the box.
I do my puzzle.
Oh, your puzzle? Yes, I do your puzzle.
I lay in my box.

Bathroom Rules


The Bathroom

1. Come in; I sit on your lap.
2. You will not lock me out.  This is my time.
3. If you don't let me sit on your lap, I practice my spins and twirls at your feet while I sing my sad sad songs.
4. If you hush me or refuse to pet me, I make toilet paper confetti.
5. I help you pet me by grabbing your hands with my hands.
6. Before you leave, please put me on the scale. My ideal weight is 9.2 pounds.
7. I drink out of the toilet on occasion, but you are not to observe me.  It's the "found water" concept, and you need to respect the hunt.

Friday, January 24, 2014

8 More Days

Just a reminder:  the Baltimore Ravens are Super Bowl Football Champions of the World for 8 more days.
Love, Ishmael

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Black beans, humility.


Daddy says my toes look like the black beans at Chipotle.
Oh, the degradation.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

No Hats. Just Limin'.


Ishmael relaxes with Daddy.
Mommy learns about Legal Professionalism.
Only the tip of Ishmael's tail misses Mommy.
The rest of his body clearly does not; he is taking up her entire couch cushion.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Phresh Lettuce

Refusing to let a piece of iceberg go to waste, Ishmael quickly fashioned himself a fresh cap.
"The kids are saying phresh," he tells me.

Monday, December 16, 2013

Sheepskin Pajamas

Ishmael gets tucked in next to Mommy's head every night.
He would prefer not to show everyone what his pajamas look like.
He knitted them himself out of sheepskin that he harvested from his friend Bartholomew.

Friday, December 13, 2013

When Ishmael gets out of the shower, he likes to lounge around a bit before facing the day.

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Rajah Takes It Too Far

Rajah is Ishmael's colorful younger brother.  
He caught wind of Ishmael's accessory fad.  
As usual, he took things too far.
He wriggled into a onesie meant for Baby Na.

Monday, December 2, 2013

Bohannon Fan

Lately, the household has been enjoying the Hell on Wheels series on AMC.
I have not seen one bandanna on the show.
Ishmael sees things differently.

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Quiet Time with Daddy

Sometimes, Ishmael does not feel well.
He feels better in the safety of his cone hat nest.
And even better when Daddy puts the alligator on the wall.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Law School Exams

Ishmael does not understand the fuss over finals.

In particular, he finds Real Estate Transactions to be
"child's play" (his words not mine).

"I've always been the teacher's pet," he smirks.

Monday, November 25, 2013

Cold in the Ravens Suite

Brrr.  Even with his thick undercoat, Ishmael gets cold sometimes.
He did not mind bundling up to go to the Ravens game this weekend.
He was invited to the suite, where he stayed warm with fried chicken and soft pretzels.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Not Invited to Tgiving?

I told Ishmael he was not invited to Willard Thanksgiving.
He considers this a wild injustice.
I asked him why, thinking it was because the dogs wereinvitedandhewasnot!
He said, I've made myself a cornhat in anticipation of attending.

Superstitious Ish

Ishmael feels more comfortable cheering for the Ravens while wearing his handkerchief.
His refusal to wash it has not contributed to a winning season this year...
but he thinks the luck will turn any day now.

This is the photo that started it all.

Justin came home from work early one day.  
Ishmael clearly was not expecting anyone to be home.  
He had wrapped this heart-pattern cloth napkin around his head.
And was tidying the kitchen.